Do You Ever Stop Searching?
Since I was younger, I never quite narrowed in on what I really wanted to do. I had the dreams of being a vet, an astronomer, police officer, being in the military, joining the peace corps….every time I talked to someone new and they told me about their career, I saw myself doing it, too. I thought that by the time I was old enough to actually plan my future and go to school, I would figure out what I really wanted. That never happened for me. In college, I changed my major 4 times. I was going for psychology, then anthropology, then education, and finally landed on sports management just to get myself a degree without being in too much debt. The truth is, I loved everything. I wanted to learn forever and do anything and everything. In reality, life doesn’t work that way. You have to figure out what you’re good at and what you love and go with it. It’s hard to imagine I’m the only one that struggles with the constant need for something new, but I have yet to meet someone that is going through the same thing. I find myself loving my jobs for a short amount of time, but that’s all it is after a while…a job. I stick with it because I’m human and need to pay my bills, but soon that’s the only reason I find that keeps me there. When something new comes along, I want it.
I’ve been given amazing opportunities and learning experiences with each of my jobs after graduating college. They weren’t anything I ever expected to do, but even with these opportunities I found myself continuing to look elsewhere. It wasn’t because I hated where I was or what I was doing, but I think it was a fear of missing out. Even now, I’m incredibly thankful to have a full-time, Monday-Friday, 8am-5pm office job that has medical benefits. People around here dream of this. And yet, I still look and make connections places and submit resumes in the hopes that my [unknown] dream job is going to snatch me up. I don’t know if this cycle will ever end, but until I figure out what I’m looking for I don’t believe it will.